Why are we raising Talented yet INEFFECTIVE Children ?

I know the title of this article may have surprised you a bit. But i am really worried by this question and I will be presenting some facts before you with proof as well in the later part of this article. 

As we celebrate 75 years of our nation as the Sovereign Democratic Republic and enter the Amrutkaal, we proudly display the badge of over 600 million Young People in age group of 18-35, making, India the most energetic, agile and potentially most powerful country in the world. Yes It really makes us feel empowered beyond the cosmetics of  inter-nation supremacy tussles . 

But is this youth really powerful as we imagine it to be on the  basis of  some exceptional individual stories that we keep hearing albeit with reducing frequency. 

While on one side having  produced over 100 unicorns in last 5 years (and that's highest number for any country across the globe, ) does make our chests swell in pride as a community , 

on the other side over 50% of the 400+ Million  young graduates are not even capable of getting a simple job in the market out there. 

Well, I am not getting into the details of this social problem at a generic level but if you have someone near and dear in your family who is on the wrong side of the 50% mark of employability then you may get something important read here. 

The Point, I want to draw your attention to is - we need to do a reality check about the capabilities of our Youth. At the risk of sounding cynical,  I would like to quote a few observations - and  they are based on facts, which we generally have come across with respect to our youngsters going to school/college. 

1. A First Class Graduate from a reputed college fails to introduce himself confidently in an interview or a social function. 

2. A Guy is very talented but doesn't have enough friends. 

3. Youngsters these days have very very small concentration spans and a lower sense of presence thanks to round-the-clock indulgence in Phones/ laptops.

4. A mathematical genius ditches his friend for petty reasons

5. The  Stress level at corporates is increasing a lot and the new employees are not able to withstand it leading to exceptionally high attritions. 

6. Youngsters fail to make decisions when they are expected to. Quite often they follow their peers and don't want to stand out.

7. The depression level in youngsters is increasing and every three hours, one unfortunate father has to carry in his arms, the still body of his young star who commits suicide due to petty reasons.

8. The divorce rate in young couples ( the word young here does apply to even 35-40 year olds) in India is alarming and the Institution called Family has almost crumbled... 

I can quote  hundreds of such behaviors but  I feel these 8  are enough for a dipstick test.

Ever wonder why is this happening ..? Well, request you  to please  refrain from pointing towards generic social or family reasons. 

One Important fact is We have been raising Talented children but not Effective children.  

We have, for long focused a lot on improving Mathematics, Science or English in our children. We have focused for a long on ensuring that our child gets good grades in his school. We have focused a lot on seeing good grades even in co-curricular activities on his report card. 

We have focused on Gold medals, silver medals or bronze medals .. and yes we have got a lot of them. It's said that whatever you practice you perfect .. and we have almost perfected in Grooming Talents - technically Aptitudes in our children. 

So these days we see lot of young children who are highly logical, highly creative in any art, they are high performing coders, animators,  designers.. or even good sports persons.  And we have been focusing on making them better and better in these areas. We have pampered them, we have supported them and we have made them feel at the top of the world. 

But have we worked for the development of their Resilience ? Have we made them practice how to increase their locus of control - So that they take charge of their life and don't blame others for what happens to them or with them.. 

Do we know how Consistent and Persistent our child is .. does he fall short in consistency or in persistency ?  have we ever tried to go to the basics of why does the child give up easily in spite of being highly talented.. have we ever wondered why a particular child doesn't give up easily and gets triggered by a failure while the other doesnt?

May be some of you are on the right side as far as awareness is concerned but may not know what to do . We keep motivating or giving sermons to children whenever we notice the flaws in their behavior but what we possibly don't know is why doesn't the child adapt or change in spite of you telling him so many things. 

My observation is , We have been training them to be Talented Robots with specific skillsets, We have not been training them to be better personalities . We have largely ignored the personality  and EQ aspect  . Reason may be our own ignorance or helplessness.   

And I say this not out of generic coffee table discussions but basis my personal experience with thousands of children. 

Being a Career Coach I have been scientifically or objectively assessing the children coming for career guidance for over a decade now and I would like to share some facts that may be interesting to you. 

Do look at the two representative examples shared through the two sets of images. The three images with dark yellow border is data of one student and the other images  with light blue border  show data of another student. 

In both the cases if you observe the APTITUDE data or Talents are almost high . So both these students are pretty good at various things like  logic, numericals, geometry , understanding shapes and spaces, languages, IT related perception, mechanical perception etc. these are all talents and they can be groomed with practice that usually happens in schools, coaching classes, extra curricular activities and so on. 

Thanks to enhanced awareness, we do choose best of the best school for our child, provide  him / her with best tuitions / coaching classes etc and hence enough practice leads to betterment . 

But look at the Personality and Emotional Quotient  Charts . You will see many of the parameters are in red. That's simply because we don't pay any active attention to these parameters.  Even though as parents we may be aware at behaviour level but we dont do anything apart from sermonizing  the child repeatedly. We seldom facilitate  any active practice that enhances a personality or emotions related shortcoming,  do we ? Maybe few of you are doing and that's good. 

Sadly this data is not exceptional. I can say considering over 5000 reports with me that in  over 70% cases I see similar pattern . High Aptitudes and Weak personalities and Emotional Quotients. 

Considering now a days most children get 80% or above marks in 10th or 12th, one milestone is achieved for you as parent and your child as student. But post grade 12 or even in 11th and 12th,  the Race gets channelized into Engg- Medical- Design- Chartered accountancy  etc and the fight here is not of  Talents alone, It is  of personality as well. 

One who can remain fucused, intense, consistent, persistent, emotionally stable , can gel well with others and further his and others interests as well, can remain confident even when odds are stacked against him... can think on his feet, be a problem solver, will lead a life of happiness, satisfaction and success. 

Talents may open the Job doors for us but it is the Personality that fuels our growth and career.

Unfortunately our innocent youngsters have to learn it the hard way.. first at the entrance exams level and later at college level. most of the time its so hard that they loose hopes, loose their dreams.. 

A Young Ambitious Dynamic personality finds comfort in just surviving. doing something to keep the life moving... Millions of Dreams die this way and become mere data points for employability surveys or for the society at large . 

Yes, there are ways to groom and develop your child's Personality and EQ and interestingly they aren't limited to school corridors or any other format of  education. If  as a parent you are able to identify them and allow your child to groom himself, life will be truly beautiful for him and for you.  

Its time to decide.. Time to Take Charge 

Avinaash Deshmukh 

Career and Youth Coach 

connect with Avinaash : care@brainsmaart.com