Discover before you Decide.

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 "Well, I haven't yet decided what to do.. I am thinking..." 

is a typical response from a teenager studying anywhere between Std 10 to even a graduation degree course in quite a few cases these days.( helplessly unapproved by his parents ofcourse, who either want him to do something they want or whatever he wants.. but decide something ) In some cases homes have become battlefields with frequent battles erupting weekly if not daily between the parties. ( you know what I mean by parties)

Closed doors, headphones and mobile / laptop and sometimes even  blocked communication are the favorite weapons used by young warriors once the initial round of verbal firing is over... parent simply has to back off in the battle helplessly and push the topic under the carpet for next week.. well, I wish, time should have been a solution provider instead of just being a healer.. shouldn't it?

Inspite of so many  tools and resources available to help you figure out your career calling some teenagers / their parents choose to go by their own perceptions which are formed by their experiences and knowledge in parents' case and by interests or fascination in case of the teenager. And both make a BIG mistake quite often here.

Remember the story of elephant and the six blind men? Life for you is what you have experienced... and no two individuals experience the same.. right? obviously this leads to difference of opinion and then the battles... quite often this leads to taking short term calls about choosing a track with a thought to take a decision on the way while graduation is being pursued... 

and you get students who say.. "well I haven't yet decided what to do.. I am thinking" what he means to say is "I am still confused.. don't know what to do.."

 Well It may look harmless at the outset  but considering the instant mindset and everyone looking for faster results, this approach may result in kneejerk actions when the time arrives ( like Graduation, or some other event needing you to be employed / earning person. These kneejerk actions may prove more harmful for the person and his family in the long run. 

Important points to be noted at this stage by parents :

  • Start the discussions early .. keep a Broad timeline and  outline ( Not outcome ) of discussion defined.
  • Do not focus on the what he would like to do... instead discuss how would he like to discover what he wants to do.. 
  • Do not give out your opinions immediately .. hold  them as far as possible 
  • Instead talk about facts .. probe more.. check how much  homework your child has done ) like what exactly would be the kind of work he will be doing in his  field of interest, what are the companies that employ such people, what are the educational courses, what are the skills required)
  • If any homework is not done then ask him to come up with specific details in a given timeframe.  
  • Even if the child cannot come up with the  long term plan of career like I will become so and so... encourage him to identify what kind of work he enjoys the most and accordingly what kind of educational pathways would be needed to tap careers in that kind of work 
  • At this stage if the child is unable to figure out then suggest him taking a professional help.
in quite a few cases the parents and teenagers do agree to take a professional help at the right time and parents thus are successfully able to solve the blockade.

A wise career coach helps the youngster and his parents to take a decision and doesn't give out a decision for them. He understands that the aspirations and interests of the teenager and his parents have to be addressed while making them aware about how the teenager's Talents, Abilities and limitations Personality and Emotional quotient are fairing in the areas of interest shown.. Once the agreement is in place for the above, then comes figuring out of educational / training streams from the vast and dynamic world of opportunities and then universities and colleges to enable the career journey that helps the Young one achieve his Dream.

So a small advise to parents, 

Shift your goal post..don't start a battle with questions like what have you decided? or Why don't you decide... Instead, try a different approach ...

Hey dear, have you Discovered what You are before you decide what you want to become?

This approach will definitely trigger a positive - constructive discussion that you may just love to take ahead.

Do let me know your feedback


Avinash Deshmukh

Career Coach 

Connect with Coach Avinash at BOLDNET India 9657600076 or care@brainsmaart.com #careerguidance#careercoaching#careercounselling#boldnet#discoveryourpotential#discoveryourself#youth#YoungIndia

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